December 2009
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I'm going to be in London until Jan 4th
Please don’t unadd me while I’m gone, okay?
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txtsfrmlstnght:
(908): it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
fmylife:
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of ‘Fight Club’. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn’t sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
LOL AWESOME!
fmylife:
Today as I was getting ready for work, I used my green spray can of deodorant. Afterward, I kept wondering why my armpits felt so sticky. I looked at the can and realized it was my identical-looking hair spray can. My shirt is stuck to me. FML
txtsfrmlstnght:
(413): Thanks for holding onto me so I didn’t fall in my pee in that parking lot. You’re the best boyfriend ever.
txtsfrmlstnght:
(607): : am i supposed to send the mass text ‘merry christmas!’ to my booty calls too?
txtsfrmlstnght:
(262): I know you didn’t add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to “Good Catholic Girl” on the same day.
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fmylife:
Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML
My parents are wrapping the dog’s presents right now hahaha
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fmylife:
Today, I shared the story of my younger brother’s unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said “I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term.” FML
I love my dog more than my sisters. And more than my parents. Basically more than anything in the universe.
txtsfrmlstnght:
(703): he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
txtsfrmlstnght:
(303): At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
(1-303): At about the same time you guys weren’t burritos.
txtsfrmlstnght:
(847): His internet history had “Disney Porn” on it.
txtsfrmlstnght:
(765): you said you didn’t feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
txtsfrmlstnght:
(310): Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.