January 2010
txtsfrmlstnght:
(206): You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the “ducks fly together” speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack…quack..
txtsfrmlstnght:
(608): Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to ‘slap chop’ him.
txtsfrmlstnght:
(626): Let’s create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You’d be drunk within 10 seconds.
txtsfrmlstnght:
(252): Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
(919): Are you talking about my vagina?
1 tag
kiiimiko started following you
luccyyy:
thanks :)
Your posts have brightened my gloomy mood. So err… thank you? haha
“Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never...”
– (via mariamaria0101) AND YOU CAN BECOME A MISERABLE SOB LIKE ME :-D
The only time a guy feels bad when a girl cries is...
1 tag
txtsfrmlstnght:
(770): I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund… totally worked
txtsfrmlstnght:
(970): He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
txtsfrmlstnght:
(208): I’m pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it’s true. just saying.
txtsfrmlstnght:
(631): so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
(631): what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
txtsfrmlstnght:
(530): I think any school that has COCKS written on it’s baseball hats has their priorities straight.
txtsfrmlstnght:
(720): When we woke up, I asked if we could play “what does your name rhyme with”…..he said ‘bave’ thank god it was easy
txtsfrmlstnght:
(972): Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It’s like I’m jerking off my way into ruling the world
FREE TRIPS TO MAURY!
txtsfrmlstnght:
(260): dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
(1-260): what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This might explain my life…
txtsfrmlstnght:
(309): My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you’d know what to do?
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oh fuck i love you →
I really needed this. Seriously. Thank you heathernicolezilla.
fmylife:
Today, I was ecstatic after spending the night with my longtime crush, when he told me he felt something. I poured my heart and soul out to him, confessing my love for him too. Unfortunately, he was referring to a lump in my left breast, which I now need to get checked out. FML
She should be glad he found it and wasn’t afraid to tell her.
1 tag
GMH →
givesmehope:
A senior in our school is determined to graduate; he immigrated from Senegal, learned English and survived without his family… and he has cancer that cost him his right leg. A day ago, his cancer relapsed. That very night, my school held a special graduation/prayer ceremony, just for him. Now, all tests can’t detect the tumor. It’s gone. GMH
I prayed for her and it...
E-Mails from an Asshole →
This guy basically messes around with people through Craigslist by sending them strange e-mails. It’s amazing.
